Saturday Stuff: "Just for fun" edition

I've been encountering some fun stuff in my Reader and my Inbox this week, so as a change of pace, I thought I'd share some of it this weekend. The regular links roundup will return next week.


Via e-mail from my aunt, a retired New York City teacher:

Kids  Are  Quick

TEACHER:   Maria, go to the map and find  North America .
MARIA:     Here it  is.
TEACHER:  Correct.  Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS:      Maria.
____________________________________

TEACHER:  John, why are you doing your math multiplication on  the floor?
JOHN:      You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________

TEACHER:  Glenn, how do you spell  'crocodile?'
GLENN:    K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L.
TEACHER:  No, that's wrong.
GLENN:    Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. 
____________________________________________

TEACHER:  Donald, what is the chemical formula for  water?
DONALD:   H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER:  What are you talking about?
DONALD:   Yesterday you said it's H to O. 
__________________________________

TEACHER:  Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE:    Me!
__________________________________________ 

TEACHER:  Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN:      Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. 
_______________________________________

TEACHER:   Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE:     I  is..
TEACHER:   No, Millie... Always say, 'I  am.'
MILLIE:      All right...  'I am  the ninth letter of the alphabet.'  
________________________________

TEACHER:   George Washington not only chopped down  his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.  Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS:      Because George still had the axe in his hand. 
______________________________________ 

TEACHER:   Now,  Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers  before eating?
SIMON:     No sir, I don't have to, my  Mom is a good cook. 
______________________________

TEACHER:   Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy  his?
CLYDE :     No, sir. It's the same dog. 
___________________________________

TEACHER:  Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer  interested?
HAROLD:   A teacher.

One of Jennifer Weiner's favorite jokes:

With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit:

"May I see the new baby?' I asked.

"Not yet,' she said 'I'll make coffee and we can visit for a while first."

Thirty minutes had passed, and I asked, 'May I see the new baby now?'

'No, not yet,' she said.

After another few minutes had elapsed, I asked again, 'May I see the baby now?'

"No, not yet,' replied my friend.

Growing very impatient, I asked, 'Well, when can I see the baby?'

"WHEN HE CRIES!' she told me.

"WHEN HE CRIES?' I demanded. 'Why do I have to wait until he CRIES?'

"BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM, O.K.?!!'

Now, what was I doing?, via Not Always Right

Bookstore | Gainesville, FL, USA

Customer: “Hello?”

Me: “Hello ma’am, this is **** Bookstore. I’m calling to let you know the book you ordered has come in.”

Customer: “What? You’re who?”

Me: “This is **** Bookstore. You ordered a book from us and it’s here.”

Customer: “I ordered a book?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “I don’t remember ordering anything.”

Me: “The order sticker says you ordered it last week. The title is Improving Your Memory.”

Thanks to everyone who contributed to Gypsy's total of 12 votes in A Novel Menagerie's "Beautiful Baby Contest" - she didn't come in last, and she did receive an honorable mention:

Gypsy - Voted “Lady Of Grace & Elegance” Award

This photo was taken while she was drying off in the sun after falling into a creek - so much for grace and elegance! However, she is a Southern Belle and a (sort of) classy dame, and she appreciates the honor!

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