TIME? Who says I have TIME?

I chat online with one of my girlfriends pretty regularly – usually on
Wednesdays – but we’ve missed a few weeks recently, and I hadn’t spoken
with her since before my family went on vacation. When she asked about
that, I responded “Too much to tell here, but there’s a lot about it on
my blog.” I got the impression she was a bit amused by that. Even
though some of my offline friends and family read my blog, I’m not
always sure they get why I do this – and this friend is one who doesn’t read it or
get it, I’m afraid. I mentioned that I was now writing for another blog
in addition to my own, and she replied, “Must be nice to have the time
for that.”

TIME? Is she KIDDING? Who said I have time? Does anyone have time for anything anymore?

This
isn’t something you “have time” for. This is something that you have to
carve out time for, if it’s important to you and you want to do it
well.

It is a truth universally
acknowledged that time is a scarce commodity in the modern world. There
are 168 hours in a week. I spend at least 50 of them on work, counting
the commute both ways, and at least 42 of them sleeping (and wouldn’t
mind a few more). At least a few hours of every day go toward the basic
self-care – eating, grooming, and other personal tasks – and that
caretaking time extends to family members, pets, and the house in
various ways. Any time that remains may be discretionary in theory, but
there are always more possibilities for how to use that time than there
are hours to be used.

The near-daily
writing habit I have developed over the last year-plus here has become
very important to me, not just as a place to express myself, but as a
place where those expressions actually get some response, too. When I
write here, it’s interactive, and it’s a facet of my social life. But
there’s no denying that keeping it up means that other things slide.
I’ve mentioned it before, I think, but it’s ironic that since I started
a blog to keep a record of my reading, I don’t have time to read as
much. Some weekends, the house gets a less thorough cleaning than it
should. I’ve also bowed out of some family activities – the fact that
everyone but me likes to play on the Wii is something that I’ve used to
my advantage, to be honest, to get one-on-one time with my laptop.

No, I really don’t think I have
the time. I try to organize the time, I try not to get over-extended,
and I re-allocate it when I need to (sometimes it’s useful to think in
accounting terms) – but I have to arrange for it to be there when I
want it, and sometimes I don’t make the best choices about how I do
that. But the point is, I don’t “have” it. Does anyone?

(A longer variation on this post was recently published on the Los Angeles Moms Blog, and another mom’s similar reflections were recently posted in the Full Time, All the Time blog at Work It, Mom!)

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16 comments

  1. Florinda, don’t let your friends or family get you down! If you’re like me, writing is something you have to do – to keep your sanity!

    I’m off to check the longer version of your post!

  2. The time comment and the busy comment. I sort of touch on this in my post today. The truth is, it’s all about how we prioritize, and sometimes when we can’t understand another person’s priorities, we judge or make comments that could be hurtful, or at least put the other person a little on the defensive.

    ITA with what you said: we are all busy and we carve out time for things we value. In general. Sometimes we value things but can’t figure out how to fit the pieces of time together.

  3. I was ranting about the same type of thing at my blog today … I really HATE it when people say “oh, I just don’t have time to read” … they have just as much (I mean as LITTLE) free time as I do, but if there’s something that is a priority you MAKE the time for it.

    (sorry for the rant – this is something that REALLY ticks me off) 🙂

  4. Not many non-writers get the writing thing. I guess they think stuff gets put down by elves at night when everyone is blissfully zzzzzing. They just can’t conceive that WE ARE THE ELVES.

  5. Some folks, no matter how close to us, just don’t “get it.” time? My husband says Time is Supermom’s Kryptonite.

  6. My sister asks me the same question, granted she puts in a lot more time at work, but she has no kids. So it’s pretty even. 🙂 You are right, I don’t have time either, that’s why I keep saying I want a laptop. I can fit in time to write things at work, or other free time. What was my point? Oh, yeah, I agree with you. 🙂

  7. JulieYour post today did hit some of the same notes, from a different angle. And in my Moms Blog post that grew out of this one, I talked more about my problems with figuring out how to fit the pieces of time together – because yeah, prioritizing isn’t always cut-and-dried.

    Jessica – Sounds like you’ve been there, too :-).

    Heather – Absolutely. But you’ve touched on one of my big current conflicts – reading time vs. blogging/writing time. I wish it weren’t a contest, but they have to play nicely together and take their turns :-).

    Lucia – I think you’re right. On the flip side, I wonder about it when I see people NOT carving out time for things, like writing, that they say are important to them…do actions speak louder?

    Daisy – No argument, and I have a husband that does “get it” most of the time. “Supermom’s Kryptonite” – that nails it!

    Mike – The laptop I got last Christmas has helped a lot – or made things worse, depending which side you’re standing on :-). Maybe you’ll carve out some time during the next two weeks, while you’re on vacation!

    April – I think a lot of us could say that, girlfriend :-).

  8. Oh, I hear you on this! My way of carving out the time is to sacrifice an extra hour or so of sleep and get up early, and occasionally to blog or read blogs at lunch rather than eat with co-workers or work at my desk. We make time for the things that matter to us!

  9. Pam – I can’t (won’t) get up much earlier than I already do :-), but I frequently spend my lunch break the same way you do. (The problem is that I don’t always confine it to lunch…but don’t tell anyone at the office that :-)!)

  10. You keep it up, Florinda. Blogging gives you a voice and it’s part of the worldwide return to journal writing. The person who wishes she had time for that probably does really wish she was doing what you’re doing. It’s a compliment in one way…

    Daily writing has been a part of most of my adult life, though not by choice. For twenty years now I’ve been writing to my son’s day carers and teachers every day.

    It’s a natural step from that to blogging – the posts often get written while I read feeds (mine is an Australian book news blog.)Now I’ve been picked up to write reviews for mainstream media. Would never have happened once upon a time.

    Blogging keeps you sharp and happy, and in tune with articulate, likeminded people. That’s worth making time for. Rock on.

    (Found you at BlogHer, btw.)

  11. Genevieve – Welcome, and I hope you’ll visit again! And there’s no immediate danger that I’ll stop making time for this :-).

  12. It really does come down to how you manage your time, as you say.

    This reminds me of the overused, “I wish I had time to read” comment that, when I say it, means one thing, but means something totally different when my non-reading colleague utters it.