Happy anniversary, a few days late...

I've never driven a "mom minivan" or worn the "mom uniform" (despite looking rather matronly for a number of years). My schedule isn't governed by school functions and extra-curricular activities. I'm often seen with my husband, but without the kids. There may be people who know me and don't even realize that I'm a mom. But even though I'm not on active duty these days - one child is out on his own, and two others are part-time - I'm still who I am. And at this point, I've been a mom for about as long as I've been an adult, and over half my life. I'm celebrating my 25th anniversary of motherhood this month, and I have to thank the person who made that possible.

 
My son's actual due date was July 4th, 1984, but he didn't express much interest in showing up that day, and he's always been one to do things in his own time. Four days later he decided he might be ready, but he was too big to make it out without help (I'm 4'8" and small-boned, and this was an 8-pound, 12-ounce baby), so he was delivered by C-section at 10:11 on Monday morning, July 9th, after 21 hours of labor. His father and I didn't know who coming, so we had names ready for either a boy or a girl, so that we could greet him or her properly. When we first held the baby a few minutes after the delivery, I told him, "Hello, Christopher Scott. We've been waiting for you a long time, and we already love you very much." (Had I known that Christopher would turn out to be one of the five most popular boys' names that year, I might have held out for something else. One of his best friends later on was actually another "Christopher Scott.") Then he left for the nursery with his father, and I was down for the count while they finished the surgery. I don't remember seeing him again till the next morning, and then the adventure began...

Please read the rest of this post at the Los Angeles Moms Blog, where it posted last Thursday, July 9 - the 25th anniversary of my son's birth and my induction into the ranks of motherhood.

Monday Book Talk: "All We Ever Wanted Was Everything," by Janelle Brown

There will be an online discussion of this book on Tuesday, July 14 at Bookworm with a View as part of the Summer Reading Series.

All We Ever Wanted Was Everything: A Novel
Janelle Brown (blog)
Spiegel & Grau, 2009 (paperback) (ISBN 0385524021 / 9780385524025)
Fiction, 448 pages

First sentence: June in Santa Rita is perfect, just perfect.

Teaser: "She was terrible at ballet. Her pliés were mushy, her pirouettes wobbly, and the way the elastic on the leotard squished the fat on her thighs depressed her." (page 68)

Book description:  When Paul Miller’s pharmaceutical company goes public, making his family IPO millionaires, his wife, Janice, is sure this is the windfall she’s been waiting years for — until she learns, via messengered letter, that her husband is divorcing her (for her tennis partner!) and cutting her out of the new fortune. Meanwhile, four hundred miles south in Los Angeles, the Millers’ older daughter, Margaret, has been dumped by her newly famous actor boyfriend and left in the lurch by an investor who promised to revive her fledgling post-feminist magazine, Snatch. Sliding toward bankruptcy and dogged by creditors, she flees for home where her younger sister Lizzie, 14, is struggling with problems of her own. Formerly chubby, Lizzie has been enjoying her new-found popularity until some bathroom graffiti alerts her to the fact that she’s become the school slut.

The three Miller women retreat behind the walls of their Georgian colonial to wage battle with divorce lawyers, debt collectors, drug-dealing pool boys, mean girls, country club ladies, evangelical neighbors, their own demons, and each other, and in the process they become achingly sympathetic characters we can’t help but root for, even as the world they live in epitomizes everything wrong with the American Dream. 

Comments: In All We Ever Wanted Was Everything, Janelle Brown introduces us to a family during their summer of one crisis after another. After 29 years of marriage, Janice Miller is stunned to learn, on the day her husband's Silicon Valley company makes a successful first stock offering, that he won't be coming home to celebrate their new wealth - he's leaving her for her best friend and tennis partner. Meanwhile, her elder daughter Margaret's finances are rapidly plummeting to the other end of the spectrum as her own business goes under, and teenage daughter Lizzie's social naivete is teaching her some hard lessons. Each of them is trying to cope with her problems in her own way, but none of their ways include much open communication with each other.

Brown alternates the focus of each chapter among the three women, and her use of third-person narration gives the reader some insight into each of their perceptions of each other - and these are characters who seem to relate to their perceptions of each other more than to the actual person. There's a lot of reaction to the perceptions of others within the book, really. On the surface, especially in Janice's case, it looks a bit like too much concern about "keeping up appearances," especially since their upscale community is the kind of place where appearances seem to matter greatly - however, sometimes when the inner turmoil is just too much to deal with, attention to appearances can give a person some small sense of control over something. (Voice of experience speaking here.)

I didn't really find much in All We Ever Wanted Was Everything that seemed particularly original. Sometimes it seemed to me that the author was piling every complication she could come up with on top of the characters, even though most of them did seem plausible under the circumstances. I frequently grew frustrated with the Millers' disinclination, even outright refusal, to be honest with each other. Then again, I think I was meant to react that way; miscommunication is frustrating, sometimes even more so when it doesn't involve you, because what the people in question should be doing can seem so obvious. Besides, these people were also struggling with being honest with themselves.

There were times when I had trouble liking the characters here, but I did think they were realistically drawn and developed, and they did end up engaging my sympathies. I was pulled into their story, and it made an emotional connection with me - I would have liked that connection to be just a bit deeper, though.

Rating: 3/5

Buy All We Ever Wanted Was Everything at Amazon.com

Other bloggers' reviews:

Booking Mama

The Family With Three Last Names

Breaking the Spine

If you have read and reviewed this book, please leave a link in comments or e-mail me at 3.rsblog AT Gmail DOT com, and I'll edit this review to include it.

Weekend Review 7-11-09

Random updates

***This is not exactly blog-related, but I did mention and receive comments about it here: thanks to everyone who expressed concern and good wishes for my mother-in-law. She has been home from the hospital since Tuesday, and is still experiencing occasional, but less severe, dizzy spells. She has some help around the house, and my husband is keeping daily tabs on her by phone. She will be seeing a specialist soon, and hopefully after that, we'll know more about what's going on and what to do.

***I heard from a reader yesterday (hi, Tracy!) that she was having trouble getting comments to stick on the blog. Have you had that problem too? Sometimes I get a message that my own reply comments here can't be processed, but if I hit "submit" again, they go through just fine. Anyway, if you're having trouble leaving a comment on a post, please don't hesitate to e-mail it to me at 3.rsblog AT Gmail dot com - I'll respond to those, too!

Newbies in my Google Reader
In the Shadow of Mt. TBR
She Reads Books
Jen's Book Thoughts
I Write in Books
Suburban Kvetch
Book Journey: One Person's Journey Through a World of Books

Dispatches from across the blogiverse

Reflections on marriage and divorce...and the absence of either one

If you're going to behave "like no one's watching," make sure that's actually the case; and don't forget they could be listening, too. Speaking of listening, does your favorite music correspond to your intelligence level? (I hope not. I'm quite aware I like some pretty dumb stuff.)

One person's everyday miracles

Why it's a problem when those in power act like the rules don't apply to them

In Blogland, traffic is a good thing, and here's a good discussion on attracting more of it; in real-world traffic, how do you feel about minivans?

Results of an (admittedly unscientific) poll of blog-readers' least favorite features - constructive criticism, perhaps?

I don't usually get so commercial around here, but I LOVE this show, and you should too: via The Park Bench, for all of my fellow lovers of great TV and/or casualties of the '80's - a special sale price on the DVD boxed set of Freaks and Geeks - The Complete Series(!).

Bargain-hunter of the week, via Not Always Right:

Insurance | Glasgow, Scotland

Caller: *on the phone* “I’d like a quote to insure 2 cars. Do I get a discount if it’s for 2 cars?”

Me: “Yes, as long as they’re registered at the same address.”

Caller: “OK, first I need a quote for my wife’s car.”

(I run through the details and tell him the price.)

Caller: “OK, now I need a quote for my girlfriend’s car.”

Me: “Er…OK.”

Caller: “Do I get a discount on the second one, then?”

Me: “Only if they’re registered at the same address.”

Caller: “OK.”

Me: *confused* “Do your wife and your girlfriend live at the same address?”

Caller: “What do you think I am? Stupid?”

More in store, via Not Always Right:

CLOTHING STORE | PHILADELPHIA, PA, USA
(I’m ringing up a customer and notice her last name is the same as mine. I have a very uncommon last name, so I made the mistake of mentioning this…)
Me: “Your last name is [name]? Mine, too. Wonder if we’re related?” *chuckle*
Customer: *very serious* “What is your name?”
Me: “Oh, I was joking, we’re not related; almost all of my family lives up in New England.”
Customer: *more serious* “What is your name?”
Me: “Uhhh…I’m no–”
Customer: “Do you have a brother named [brother’s name]?”
Me: “Yes, actually…”
Customer: “Is your mother [mom’s name]?”
Me: “Uh, yeah…”
Customer: “And your father’s name is [my estranged father’s name]?”
Me: “Well, he’s my biological father, yes.”
Customer: *sticks out hand* “Nice to meet you, I’m your step-mother!”
(The entire line of about a dozen people behind her gasps, like they were watching a soap opera.)
Me: “Oh, God…please don’t tell my father I work here.”
Customer: “You know why your father left your mother, right?”
Me: “Uh…no?”
Customer: “Because she cheated on him with [my stepfather]!”
(The line behind her gasps again.)
Me:” Oh, okay…”
Customer: “You know, your father is very heartbroken about you. You’ve grown up to be such a beautiful young woman. You should call him and talk to him just so he can see how you’re doing.”
Me: “Actually, we don’t–”
Customer: “You and I need to go out for coffee sometime. I have a lot of stories to tell you.”
Me: “Okay, well–”
Customer: “I promise, I’m not an evil stepmother. Well, I’ll see you later, sweetie!” *bounces out the front door*
Me: *speechless*
Next customer: “Sweetie, are you okay?”
Me: *still speechless*
Next customer: “Why don’t you take a break? We don’t mind waiting.”
Entire line: “No! Go take a break!”
Me, to my boss: “Hey, I’m taking a break. I’ll be back in–”
Boss: “For God’s sake, go home! I’ll see you on Monday.”

Bookmarks: Reading-related reading

Defining the "professional" reviewer

In support of grammar, via Not Always Right (excerpted):

Patron: “I can’t understand the words on the computer. It doesn’t make any sense! I’m so confused! All of a sudden, I lost my ability to understand writing. I opened an email from my granddaughter and I didn’t understand a word of it!”

(My coworker and I read the email:)

Hey grandma! I’ve been having a gr8 time in Ny with mom and dad. we’ll b back in ca on the 4th. I miss u! c u l8r!”

Coworker: “Um, I think she just wrote in a hurry and didn’t realize that you didn’t understand her shorthand. It’s teenspeak, so it’s a little hard to understand.”

Patron: “Oh, thank God…such a stupid girl! I’m going to tell my son to throw her TV and computer away and make her read some books!”

Book review pondering, via Examiner.com: review clichés, review usefulness, and a review template

Enjoy the weekend, y'all!

TBIF - Thank book/blog it's Friday!

BOOKKEEPING: The Reading Status Report

Currently reading: Perfect Life by Jessica Shattuck, via LibraryThing Early Reviewers

Teaser: "Laura could hear the anxious needling in her own voice. The wife, the nag, the worrier - it was a boring story." (page 79)

Book reviews posted this week: Fool, by Christopher Moore
Next review scheduled: All We Ever Wanted Was Everything, by Janelle Brown

Bonus Bookery: BOOKKEEPING, expanded edition: The (half) year in books

New to my LibraryThing "to be read" collection:
The Divorce Party: A Novel, by Laura Dave (won in a giveaway from Bookworm with a View)

I have decided not to catalog my Kindle books in LibraryThing, since the Kindle will keep track of them for me (duh). And I think I'm definitely going to be sucked into a "why wait for the paperback when the e-book is already out, and cheaper?" habit, based on my first five purchases:

Shanghai Girls: A Novel, by Lisa See
The Help, by Kathryn Stockett
Admission, by Jean Hanff Korelitz
Sag Harbor: A Novel, by Colson Whitehead
The Song is You: A Novel, by Arthur Phillips

(And speaking of Kindle purchases - wouldn't you know they'd lower the price the week after I buy one?!)

In case you hadn't heard yet: Book Blogger Appreciation Week is being observed from September 14-18 this year, and it will have its own blog - bookmark it NOW!

** Are you participating in the Fifty Books for Our Times Reading Project organized by My Friend Amy? (I've claimed #32.) All of the books on the list have been claimed by at least one reader/reviewer, but since doubling up is allowed, you can still join in!

---

Tuesday Thingers, hosted at Wendi's Book Corner: "Too Much Networking?"

There are so many wonderful resources available to us as bloggers and individuals. Take a look at just a few of the many social networking sites: Facebook, MySpace, Library Thing, GoodReads, Twitter. . . the list can go on and on!

Sometimes it is hard to keep up with everything, and sometimes we all need a place just for us - where we don't have any blogger responsibilities.

Questions: How do you feel about social networking sites? Do you have any you like more than others? Are there any you don't like? Do you have any that you don't associate with your blogs and/or book reviewing? If you could only belong to one of these sites, which one would it be and why?

My Answer: I like social-networking sites generally, but sometimes it's hard to tell. I've mentioned in previous Tuesday Thingers that I don't really use the social side of LibraryThing very much (and although it feels disloyal to say so, I think GoodReads does that part better). I'm sporadically active on Twitter - I check in almost every day, but I tweet more on some days than others, depending on what else is happening. I have aFacebook page, and more and more of my off-line friends and family are getting active there, but sadly, publishing my blog posts over there is the extent of myFB activity most days (and that's automated).

And that's the heart of it for me, lately. There's only so much time in a day, and time spent on social-networking sites is time when I'm not doing blog-related stuff. And I like my blogger responsibilities! The blogiverse is still my preferred place for online socializing. I've noticed that as some bloggers participate more in social sites, they blog less...and I miss them. I understand the "something's got to give" thing, though, and for me, that's more likely to be social-networking activity than blogging. For now, anyway - ask me again in six months.

---

Booking Through Thursday: "Unread"

A challenge from Toddled Dredge (via K for Kat):

“So here today I present to you an Unread Books Challenge. Give me the list or take a picture of all the books you have stacked on your bedside table, hidden under the bed or standing in your shelf – the books you have not read, but keep meaning to. The books that begin to weigh on your mind. The books that make you cover your ears in conversation and say, ‘No! Don’t give me another book to read! I can’t finish the ones I have!’ “

"NO! Don’t give me another book to read! I can’t finish the ones I have!" I can't imagine ever saying that, can you?









The current count of my "To Read" collection in LibraryThing stands at 209 - what you see above is just a sample. See for yourself: go to my LT catalog, and select "To read" from the drop-down "collections" menu button in the upper-left corner. Sort the list on the "entry date" column to find some of the oldest ones; anything dated January 4, 2008 was in my possession when I first set up my books on LT. Some of them had been in my possession for years before that, though. I still believe I'll get to them eventually.

As long as this "challenge" doesn't require me to declare an intent-to-read-by date for any of these books, I think I can manage it.

---

Friday Fill-ins #132

1. The last thing I ate was a cheeseburger cooked on the backyard grill and the toasted whole-wheat bun it rested in (oh, and some mac and cheese).

2. A Kindle and some e-books to read on it is something I recently bought.

3. When it rains, it makes the streets slippery and the drivers worse than usual.

4. Tall Paul was the first person I talked to today (the dog doesn't count).

5. Hugs are the best medicine (that was my answer last week, and I'm sticking to it!).

6. A cozy blanket gives me a little extra comfort.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to a quiet evening, tomorrow my plans include the usual Saturday stuff during the day, and seeing Spamalot! at the Ahmanson Theater at night and Sunday, I want to relax in the morning, before going to my nephew's 6th birthday party in the afternoon!

If this weekend is less eventful than last weekend was, it's fine with me!

Thursday Book Talk : "Fool," by Christopher Moore

Fool: A Novel
Christopher Moore (blog)
William Morrow, 2009 (hardcover) (ISBN 0060590319 / 9780060590314)
Fiction, 336 pages

First sentence: “Tosser!” Cried the raven. There’s always a bloody raven.

Book description: Here's the Cliff Notes you wished you'd had for King Lear—the mad royal, his devious daughters, rhyming ghosts and a castle full of hot intrigue—in a cheeky and ribald romp that both channels and chides the Bard and all Fate's bastards. It's 1288, and the king's fool, Pocket, and his dimwit apprentice, Drool, set out to clean up the mess Lear has made of his kingdom, his family and his fortune—only to discover the truth about their own heritage. There's more murder, mayhem, mistaken identities and scene changes than you can remember, but bestselling Moore (You Suck) turns things on their head with an edgy 21st-century perspective that makes the story line as sharp, surly and slick as a game of Grand Theft Auto. Moore confesses he borrows from at least a dozen of the Bard's plays for this buffet of tragedy, comedy and medieval porn action. 

Comments: I wish I remembered more about King Lear, but it's been nearly 30 years since I read it in high school. Then again, I'm not sure it would have made much difference; in the Author's Note at the end of Christopher Moore's Fool, he acknowledges being pretty free in adapting the source material. To the best of my recollection, the basic plotline is followed: the aging king is duped by two of his ambitious daughters into disinheriting the third one, and quickly comes to regret it. Much intrigue, duplicity, and death follow. It is a Shakespearean tragedy, after all.

However, in Moore's hands, it becomes a tragicomedy, at times bordering on farce, with much bawdiness. If you've read anything else he's written, you'll expect nothing less.

I actually don't remember much about the king's Fool from the play at all, but here, his perspective takes the primary role. Pocket - so named because he was a particularly tiny baby when he was found abandoned on the steps of a convent - was raised by nuns, became part of performing troupe, and found a home in King Lear's court when he was able to coax laughter out of the king's youngest daughter, who had been mute since losing her mother. Although Pocket was officially Cordelia's Fool, her older sisters Goneril and Regan found their own uses for him as well. And from the Fool's unique position within the court, Pocket plays the pivotal behind-the-scenes role in orchestrating both the fallout and the resolution of Lear's choice.

While following the events of the play, including fragments from some of its best-known speeches, Moore has also worked in elements from other Shakespearean plays, most notably Macbeth's witches. I had some trouble keeping characters straight, but I think that goes back to the source material more than to what Moore has done with it. What he's created is by no means a primer on Shakespeare, British royalty, or the Middle Ages, but it is a fun read. If you haven't been exposed to Moore's brand of creative absurdity before, I'm not sure I'd suggest starting here, and even fans have had mixed reviews of Fool. Having said all that, though, there were plenty of places in the book where I laughed out loud, and I found it enjoyable and clever. And while bawdiness isn't generally my thing, Moore writes an element of something resembling affection into it that makes it more appealing to me than it might be otherwise.

It wouldn't be the first time Christopher Moore has made something - zombies, humpback whales and aliens, death - more appealing to me than it might be otherwise, though. Although Fool may not end up being my favorite novel of his, it doesn't change his place among my favorite writers.

Rating: 3.75/5

Buy Fool: A Novel at Amazon.com

Other bloggers' reviews:

Bookopolis

Books & Other Thoughts

Worducopia

Fizzy Thoughts

Reading Comes From Writing

minds alive on the shelves

Puss Reboots
Barney's Book Blog

If you've read and reviewed this book, please leave your link in comments or e-mail it to me at 3.rsblog AT Gmail DOT com, and I'll edit this review to include it!

The Meme Thief is back! A "blog starter," from A to Z

My week took an unexpected turn on the Fourth of July, and so I'm falling back on a meme for today. I stole this one from anniegirl1138 - feel free to steal it yourself and keep it going! Tomorrow may be a day off from blogging - it depends on how things go today.

A – Age: I'm 45, halfway to fifty (duh). I'm too young to have a child who will be 25 this week (but I do anyway), and much too young for him to make me a grandmother - so that had better be a few years off! I'm too old to be very interested in my 9-year-old stepson's Pokemon games, and old enough to remember when some of today's fashions were first popular - back when I was in high school, like my 14-year-old stepdaughter is now, which means I'm too old to wear them again (in more ways than one). I'm old enough to have learned a few things, and young enough to feel like there's still a lot ahead of me.

B – Band listening to right now: The sounds of silence. Seriously, it's very quiet around here right now; we're not listening to anything except the sounds around the house.

C – Career future: Unless I make a dramatic change - or one is forced on me - I'll probably stay in a holding pattern. I'm not all that ambitious to do what I do somewhere other than where I currently do it, and it would take a major change of circumstances to give me the freedom to explore something else.

D – Dad’s name: Edward, who celebrated his 80th birthday just a few months ago.

E – Easiest person to talk to:  In general, Tall Paul, and that's a very good thing in a spouse. On some topics, it's my sister. on others, I'm more comfortable writing than talking about them, which is why I love having this blog and all of you who take the time to read it!

F – Favorite song:  Who the heck can pick just one? I might have a couple of new favorites at any given time, but some of them don't stick. On the other hand, so many have stuck - because I associate them with particular places, times, or people, or because I just love singing them - that I can't single one out.

G – Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms:  Neither. I'm only interested in candy if it's chocolate.

H – Hometown:  I grew up in Norwalk, Connecticut and St. Petersburg, Florida, but the city that feels like home to me is actually the one where my son was raised: Memphis, Tennessee.

I – Instruments:  I had a short-lived relationship with the violin in grade school, but I mostly just sing, sometimes unaccompanied but usually with the radio or the iPod. I can usually carry a tune.

J – Job: I've been at my current one for six years, the longest of any of them, and I'm starting to feel like a lifer. I'm reasonably good at it and I like more about it than I don't, so I'm usually OK with that, though.

K – Kids:  One of my own, two that were part of the package deal with my second husband (see also A - Age above). There will be no more. Someday there may be grandchildren.

L – Longest car ride ever:  Probably the road trip last summer, although I'm not sure of the total mileage. We went from California through Nevada, Utah, and Idaho, and into Wyoming for a few days at Yellowstone. On the way back, we went through Arizona to see the Grand Canyon. Before that, it was probably my one-way drive from Memphis to LA when I moved out here seven years ago.

M – Mom’s name:  Mary Ann. As of October, it will have been ten years since she died, following seven years in a nursing home in the declining stages of early-onset Alzheimer's. I've written about her here before, and as that anniversary approaches, I'm sure I will again.

N – Number of people you slept with:  It's in the single digits. That's all I'm saying.

P – Phobia[s]:  I suffer from social anxiety, and I hate calling people on the phone. However, I did get myself past a phobia about highway driving several years ago; it developed after a car accident, but conquering it was going to be necessary if I planned to live in California. Getting past that one is one of my prouder personal achievements.

Q – Quote:  "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss

R – Reason to smile:  I have a great family that includes a dog.

S – Song you sang last:  Tall Paul and I tortured the kids with a rendition of "Under the Boardwalk."

T – Time you wake up:  4:30 AM on weekdays, and usually no later than 6:30 on weekends. Unless I'm sick, it's almost physically impossible for me to sleep late.

U – Unknown fact about me: But if I tell you, it won't be unknown any more - so let's leave it at that.

V – Vegetable you hate: Brussels sprouts.

W – Worst habit: I'm quite sure I have more than one, depending on whom you ask, and it's hard for me to single out one as THE worst. (Not being able to pick THE best or worst or favorite of anything is probably on the "worst habits" list, though.) But if it comes to it, probably procrastination, along with all of the distractions I find to avoid doing what I really don't want to do.

X – X-rays you’ve had: I don't think there have been very many. Dental x-rays. I had some lung x-rays related to diagnosing a chronic cough, but they didn't show anything. I've never broken any bones, so that's taken away one big reason for needing them in the first place.

Y – Yummy food:  Yes, I like it. Pastas, chicken, breads, sandwiches, desserts...it doesn't have to be exotic or complicated, as long as it tastes good.

Z – Zodiac sign: I'm an Aries in the conventional Zodiac and a Dragon in the Chinese one. I don't know that I really fit either, though.